So, you think you can rock? Well, I'm gonna be the judge of that. Send me your best rocking guitar solo (send an mp3 to janchower@theonion.com), and I'll post it on my web page. I mean some licks that would make Kevin Cronin cream his jeans if he heard 'em. Some screaming guitar that the guy from Molly Hatchet would hear and say he quits. That kind of shit. Then, we'll see if your rock is rocking enough.

Since I ain't gotten any guitar solos yet, I am going to up the ante here. I will pay $5.00 to you if your solo don't suck. So, start sending them in, 'cause I need some rocking. Oh, and don't send me like 50 solos, cause I'll only send you $5 for the first one. Everything after that is just gravy. Come on you lazy rockers. Start rocking.