Lobster For Two

Smoove B
Perhaps the finest of all of the creatures that come out of the sea, the lobster makes a dinner both simple and extravagant. If you are like me, you have the finest Maine lobsters shipped to your penthouse apartment twice a week. I have a special tank built into the side of the kitchen just for lobsters. If you appreciate the lobster's delicate flavor and its seductive power as much as Smoove does, you may consider building a tank such as this in your own home. However, I have learned from hard experience that you need real sea-water to keep the lobsters at their most lively, not just tap water with salt added to it. Learn from Smoove's errors.

Also, make sure that the lobsters are feisty and active. If they are not feisty and active, do not serve them to a lady who you hope will be feisty and active later. This is a rule of lobster wisdom that Smoove lives by.

Ingredients:

  • 2 lobsters, at least 2lbs each
  • 2 teaspoons salt (I use sea salt)
  • Melted butter
  • Lemon wedges

Take the finest stainless-steel pot you own and fill it with spring water from a northwestern U.S. region to cover the lobsters with at least one inch of water. Add salt to the water.

Cover the pot with the appropriate-sized lid and bring the water to a boil. Once the water has begun bubbling to its most maximum degree, add the lobsters and cover once again. Cook for about 20 minutes for a two-pound lobster. While the lobster is cooking, make side dishes, refill your date's wine, or tell stories from your childhood that involve the sea or lobster or even the beach. You also may want to compliment your date at this time. Her hair is probably looking fine this evening. Maybe you'd like to tell her so?

When finished, the lobster should be bright red in color. When this is the case, remove the lobsters with tongs or with some other device that you enjoy grabbing things with. Place the lobsters on a garnished serving tray. Sterling silver garnished with assorted lettuces, radishes, and lemon wedges is my personal preference. If Smoove can impress one thing on you, let it be this: Do not skimp out on the serving tray. Long after your special lady has consumed her meal, after you have gently wiped her lips free of butter with your napkin and then hit her doggy style over the breakfast bar, the thing she will remember most is how the lobster looked on that tray. It is very important. If possible, use a serving tray with a lid, so that when you lift the tray, an impressive whoosh of steam will be released. This will help keep the lobster hot as well.

Serve with butter that comes from one of the finer butter making-regions of France. Also, there should be bibs.



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